Installing LOVE!!!!

[mita]

Installing LOVE

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it
now. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your
HEART, ma'am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several other programs running right
now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running, ma'am?

Customer: Let's see... I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and

RESENTMENT.COM running now.

Tech Support: No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will
no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite
LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you

have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs
prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until it's erased the
programs you don't want.

Customer: Okay, now LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is
that
normal?

Tech Support: Yes. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall
for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You
need
to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

Tech Support: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412-PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What
does that mean?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the

LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet been run on

your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it
can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Tech Support: Excellent. You're getting good at this. Now, click on the
following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory:
FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. The
system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty
programming. Also, you need to delete SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories,
and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely
gone
and never comes back. Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new

files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART. Is
this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually
everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed and
running. You should be able to handle it from here. Ah, one more thing.

Customer: Yes?

Tech Support: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules
to
everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they
will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will! Thanks for your help! Remember, LOVE is Freeware!

[SandyG]

Wäre toll, wenn's so einfach wär'!